The National Quandary

The National Quandary

“Congressional Penis Guillotine” Trends As Google’s Top Search

Congressional Penis Guillotine

Specialists involved in Search Engine Optimization were shocked as the phrase “congressional penis guillotine” rose from complete obscurity to become the nation’s top search term.

Google Trends, an online public utility that measures relative levels of interest over time for prospective keyword phrases, is one of the best methods of gauging popular newsworthy topics. Some have even called it the national consciousness, as its unbiased examination of search data can reveal the topics and issues that linger in the minds of most Americans.

“The fact that this particular term was searched by so many at the same time is what made the realization so shocking.”, said Catharine Willits, a sixteen-year SEO veteran.

Willits, who researches trending search terms for clients, cross referenced major events that occurred around the same time as the spike in enthusiasm for the morbid method of bureaucratic phallic removal.

“Looking at news reports of the day, the major announcement was the President’s official signing of the GOP tax cut plan. According to Google Trends, the search term started to spike within minutes and prominently rose to become the day’s biggest search. Literally millions of people searched for the exact term. That’s impressive!”

Willits said she understood the inspiration for the search, heavily referencing the French Revolution and the resentment of the aristocracy through unpopular taxation schemes. She also conducted her own search of the term, and after finding images relating to the keyword combination, admitted that she thought it would be bigger.

Willits also added that for the day, “congressional penis guillotine” outperformed the most historically popular search term “funny cat videos” as well as various porn affiliated sites, which occupied the next nine positions.

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