The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Congressmen Pass Law That Handicaps Own Ability To Find Escorts

Congressmen screw themselves by passing law making it difficult to find escorts

WASHINGTON, DC – With the recent passage of the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA), Congressmen are realizing that they destroyed their own ability to scope out side tail.

The new law, which has yet to be finalized, prompted the quick shutdown of the popular personals section of Craigslist as well as domain seizure of Backpage, also a go to for Congressmen in need of some loving. According to sources, this was an unintended effect.

One Congressman, who chose to remain anonymous, commented that the law was supposed to enforce prostitution laws for the general public. Not for members of Congress. “It was modeled after our gun lobby,” said the unidentified individual. “You know, no guns in Congress, but flowing availability for everyone else in the country? Only the opposite. So after the law passed, I went up to my room and logged in to find someone to celebrate with. Then I see Backpage was seized by the Feds. And I thought to myself,’Wow. We really didn’t think this one through.'”

Additional members also expressed their dismay. One told TNQ that his third, fourth, and fifth go to sites had all been shutdown as well. When asked why he couldn’t just go down to the street corner and solicit an escort, he said,”Are you crazy? I’m a distinguished member of the United States Congress. I can’t do that! I mean, everyone knows we do it, but I can’t be SEEN doing it.”

Another had apparently warned his fellow members that this might be an unintended consequence, but they didn’t listen to him he said. “I told them and told them that this was going to happen. I said once they find out that we did this, no escort in the DC area will want to sleep with you again. They just shook their heads at me, told me that that’s not the way it works on Capital Hill. Of all the bills that pass over our desks, we should have read that one.”

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