Terms of Use
The National Quandary is a news satire website. If you don’t have a grip on the word “satire” this means, first and foremost, that all stories contained within The National Quandary are works of fiction that may use, among other literary devices, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to criticize the vast amount of shortcomings that exists in our world. If you need help with the word “fiction”, that means it is not true. At all. In any form or fashion. Real names/situations may be used, unreal names/situations will be made up, but any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. The National Quandary is not intended for children under the age of 18. Depending on how you process the content in The National Quandary, our site may not be intended for people between the ages of 19-120.
Copyright Policy
Unless otherwise noted, The National Quandary is the legal copyright owner of all content/images contained within our website. You may not reprint or publish any original material without the explicit written consent of The National Quandary, but you can tempt us with upscale chocolate and/or cookies.
Hold Harmless
As a news satire website, all information provided by The National Quandary is purely for entertainment purposes only and is to be used at your own risk. We do not provide, nor are we responsible for any legal, medical, or professional advice contained in articles within The National Quandary. If you become the subject of ridicule after accepting our content as real, the Yellow Pages would be a good place to start for a list of your local psychoanalysts.
Privacy Statement
Let me explain…..no, there is too much. Let me sum up. We will not sell any of your personal or contact information to another company nor will we place you on spam lists. We are not responsible for the privacy practices of any of our advertisers or article commentators. For a full rundown of our Privacy Policy, click here.
Reserve Rights
We reserve the right to do anything we please with The National Quandary website including, but not limited to, changing the focus of the site, to shut it down, sell it, run advertisements, or change the terms of use. We also reserve the right to punk personages of historical/cultural significance in any manner that receives rolling belly laughs.
Advertisers and Sponsors
The National Quandary is not responsible for the actions of our advertisers or sponsors. For example, if you buy a product or service based on a link from our website, all subsequent issues must be taken with that exact company, not with The National Quandary.
Commenting Policy
The National Quandary welcomes and encourages readers including members of the public as well our employees to comment and engage in respectful or spiritual conversation about the content posted here. We value thoughtful, polite and concise comments that reflect a variety of views, but we must admit that comments which are so wildly out in left field that they have their own zip code are their own form of entertainment. Please refrain from posting full articles and publications from other sites, as it could be a violation of copyright or intellectual property laws.
Email Correspondence
We love receiving feedback in the form of letters, messages, tweets, or emails! By submitting correspondence through this website or on any social media profiles owned by The National Quandary, you agree to be bound by the following terms and conditions:
You agree to be fully responsible for your own submissions and to access and use this service at your own risk on an “as is” basis. *Big inhale* You agree to grant The National Quandary a perpetual, royalty-free, and irrevocable right and license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, distribute, transmit, publicly display, publicly ridicule, sub license, create derivative works from, transfer, and sell such letter, and to use your name and other identifying information you provide in connection with that letter.