The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Florida School System Purchases ED-209 Fleet

ED-209 protecting a school.

TALLAHASSEE, FL – The Florida state legislature approved a bill that would direct $67 million dollars to a “school marshal” program earlier in the month. Now details are coming out about how the funds would be utilized.

Roughly three quarters of the money allocated would be put towards purchasing a fleet of Ed-209’s, a bipedal security robot invented by Omni Consumer Products (OCP). The robots would be deployed at a concentration of one per school and are licensed to terminate with prejudice.

Critics of the robots have expressed safety concerns ever since an OCP executive was killed during a demonstration at their head office in Detroit. Technicians say that the unfortunate event was just a glitch, and that improved software updates and the termination of the company’s CEO Dick Jones, have alleviated the concerns.

The units scheduled for deployment at Elementary schools would include security features such as immobilizing foam and tasers in place of live ammunition. High Schools and Florida colleges would receive the “Full Enchilada” package as described by OCP’s website which would include live .50 caliber rounds as well as a slightly longer time limit for perpetrators to comply.

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