The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Geoffrey Giraffe To Go On Blues Tour

Geoffrey Giraffe to go on blues tour

Beloved company mascot Geoffrey Giraffe, will be embarking on a multi venue blues tour lamenting about losing his job with Toys’R’Us.

The toy store chain, which recently filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, will be closing 698 stores across the country, unable to keep pace with the suffocating presence of online toy dealers.

“I remember when we were the big dogs taking down Mom and Pop stores by the dozens,” said Geoffrey. “Now it’s all come full circle. I didn’t understand how it must have felt to those unfortunate victims. But I feel it now man. I really feel it.”

Unbeknownst to many, Geoffrey was once a budding amateur blues player. His former band, Long Neck G and the Random Spots built up an impressive following. His band forged a unique sound, merging blues with African rhythms. His show stopper was a solo slide guitar piece he played using an aluminum soda can that he wrapped in his tongue. He decided to hang up the guitar when a corporate gig became available with the toy chain.

“It was great for a lot of years. I couldn’t do any singing. Or talking for that matter. I just had to be and make kids happy. I was blind to how the world works, and most would when you’re pulling the honey. But now that the pot’s dried up, it’s time I went back to my true calling. Playing the blues.”

Geoffrey will be playing select liquidating stores across the country.

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