The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Innocent Looking Grandmother Planning to Totally Shark Grandkids

Innocent Looking Grandmother Planning to Totally Shark Grandkids

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – A Grandmother planning a trip to see her Grandkids is currently training to hustle them out of everything they own.

82-year-old Agatha Barns has been training around the clock for the last six months, determined to destroy the card playing morale of her precious gene related munchkins. During her last visit, Agatha didn’t take too kindly to the beating she received in Battleship, Connect Four, and Aggravation.

“I’ll show them who the force is,” said Barns in a delightful and angelic like tone. “Rummy. Go Fish. Cribbage. I’ll build up their confidence and lead them into making it interesting. Even give them double or nothing odds. I’ll let them hope for a while, then blow them away.”

Miss Barns wasn’t sure what she would do with her winnings if everything goes according to plan. She did express a big interest in taking their Plasma Car for a spin. “Now wouldn’t that be special? I’ve thought about this for months! Imagine me, plunking down a winning hand and watching the color drain from their little faces. I want to climb onto that plastic soapbox car and take it for a spin down the hill. Then I’d scream in delight and say, ‘You’re in my house now sonny!’”

Witnesses from the retirement community where Barns lives also told us that she has been honing her Xbox skills on the first-person shooter games she bought them last Christmas, just to rub extra salt into the wound.

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