The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Man Distressed To Find Pearl Jam Labelled As Classic Rock

Pearl Jam album cover

SEATTLE, WA – A local man who was browsing on iTunes got nauseous when he realized that one of his favorite all time bands, Pearl Jam, was now considered classic rock.

“I really couldn’t believe my eyes.” said Peter Drummond. “I mean, classic rock? It seemed like only yesterday when I sang “Black” to my crush, Amanda Armstrong. It’s still a show stopper when I sing it at Open Mic Nights. Maybe people are just being nice and clapping to humor me. They’re how old? I’m how old? I need a drink!”

Peter then saw some neighborhood kids walking by his house and ran outside to ask them if they knew Pearl Jam. “What’s that?” said the boys. “Is it like Nutella?”


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