The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Man Taps Swear Jar For Income Tax Return

Man taps swear jar to finish paying taxes

BALTIMORE, MD – A Maryland man with a sailor mouth was forced to raid his swear jar to pay the funds that he owes to the Feds.

Dennis Wexler, who professed to hating the Government, came up with the idea last year. “My wife hates it when I swear, but I can’t help it. Those pencil pushing dicks always make my temperature rise every damned tax season. I work hard, I pay my taxes. That’s the American way. No tie sporting a$$hole’s gonna get my goat this year.” *clink*

Wexler tried the idea out last season and managed to save just a little under $1000. He admits he still had more to pay but didn’t mind as much.

“It’s therapeutic in a way isn’t it? You just get it out. And it feels good. It feels damned good, you know what I mean? I ended up owing over $1300 this year. You know what? I saved more then that with room to spare. To hell with those f*%ktwats.” *clink*

At that moment, Wexler received a letter in the mail that seemed to be tax related. “Oh, what’s this? Is this the bonus round? Ahhh State taxes. Ha-ha, what do I owe those bastards this year. What do we got? What. Do. We. Got. Oh yeah Ohhh yeah! Hey honey. Lookit this! I owe another $452. Four. Hundred. Fifty. Two! Well that’s just great. That’s JUST. GREAT. WHY DON’T YOU DIPS#*TS SIPHON IT FROM MY [email protected]&KING VEINS YOU C&%KSUCKING MUTHA F%&KERS. I WAS IN NAM! I FOUGHT FOR YOU SNIVELLING LITTLE BADGERA$$ES! TAX THAT! TAX! THAT! *clink clink clink clink clink* IT’S ALRIGHT. I’M GOOD. I’M. GOOD. NO, I don’t need no damned water. My veins are fine! I’ll be good. Just blowing off steam. WHOOO. Damn that felt good.”

*Update* The National Quandary learned that Mr. Wexler was able to cover the difference after seven hours.

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