WASHINGTON, DC – In a move that was obvious to everyone except your 82-year-old neighbor, Paul Ryan 2017 rebutted Paul Ryan 2011 and gleefully shepherded in a House tax bill that would add $1 trillion to the national deficit over ten years.
Ryan, when asked in 2011 about the national debt, said, “What I do know is I can’t look my kids and my constituents in the eyes with my conscience being clear and not know that I didn’t do anything I could to try and fix this problem.”
But Paul Ryan 2017 acknowledged that quote by saying, “Look, the Senate plan is projected to add $1.4 trillion over the same period. I’m the numbers guy here. By my calculation, my plan would save the American taxpayer…….like…….point four trillion. That’s a savings that I think anybody could get behind.”
He then handed out copies of early reader illustrated copies of Atlas Shrugged to the children in attendance.
Republican donors, who had threatened to freeze cash flow if the tax bill died, expressed cautious jubilation. Although a final bill has yet to pass, one donor told TNQ that he’ll be looking forward to bathing in $100 bills after a decade of soaking in $50’s.