The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Paul Ryan tells children with clear conscience, “Sorry kids, I did dick all to fix national debt.”

Paul Ryan with children

WASHINGTON, DC – In a move that was obvious to everyone except your 82-year-old neighbor, Paul Ryan 2017 rebutted Paul Ryan 2011 and gleefully shepherded in a House tax bill that would add $1 trillion to the national deficit over ten years.

Ryan, when asked in 2011 about the national debt, said, “What I do know is I can’t look my kids and my constituents in the eyes with my conscience being clear and not know that I didn’t do anything I could to try and fix this problem.”

But Paul Ryan 2017 acknowledged that quote by saying, “Look, the Senate plan is projected to add $1.4 trillion over the same period. I’m the numbers guy here. By my calculation, my plan would save the American taxpayer…….like…….point four trillion. That’s a savings that I think anybody could get behind.”

He then handed out copies of early reader illustrated copies of Atlas Shrugged to the children in attendance.

Republican donors, who had threatened to freeze cash flow if the tax bill died, expressed cautious jubilation. Although a final bill has yet to pass, one donor told TNQ that he’ll be looking forward to bathing in $100 bills after a decade of soaking in $50’s.

1 Shares

Related Articles

Jared Kushner in a mine

Jared Kushner FBI Focus For Russian Back Tunnel

The President’s Secretary of Everything, Jared Kushner, has fallen under closer FBI observation after new developments have uncovered the existence of a secret back tunnel to Russia intended to circumvent U.S. intelligence.

Read More »
Man taps swear jar to finish paying taxes

Man Taps Swear Jar For Income Tax Return

BALTIMORE, MD – A Maryland man with a sailor mouth was forced to raid his swear jar to pay the funds that he owes to the Feds. Dennis Wexler, who professed to hating the Government, came up with the idea last year. “My wife hates it when I swear, but[…]

Read More »

the-national-quandary