The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Rick Scott New Face Of Enzyte

Rick Scott New Face of Enzyte

TALLAHASSEE, FL – Current Florida Governor, Rick Scott, has recently been named the new cover model for the once popular male enhancement product, Enzyte.

Enzyte, known for their totally not creepy commercials, are charting a course to reviving the once limp sales of the drug. The company hit a snag a few years ago, when their original model, Smilin’ Bob, was found deceased in a Vegas hotel.

Coroners say that he unknowingly overdosed on a new, more potent and experimental form of the supplement. He had passed in the presence of fourteen escorts. According to witnesses, Bob had bragged about his tolerance levels and that he could handle more than the recommended dosage. His death by massive cardiac arrest was labeled as “death by what a way to go”.

The escorts were distressed, but unharmed overall. Nine of them had to undergo two weeks of intense physiotherapy to learn how to walk properly again but recovered well. No foreplay was suspected.

Inventors of the natural herbal supplement hope that the Governor’s endorsement will help to stoke girthier sales. A spokesperson for the company said that the Governor naturally embodies all the manly qualities that the supplement provides including overbearing confidence, mysteriously high self-esteem, and an ear to ear grin that rivals that of serial killers or The Joker.

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