The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Self Driving Truck Leaves Country Singer

Country Singer Hitchhiking

NASHVILLE, TN – A Country singer, who was a few weeks into a twenty-five date tour, was left stranded by his self-driving truck after the vehicle reportedly had “had enough”.

Jesse Walkerman, otherwise known as the Singing Dustbin to his adoring fans, was on the road to promote his new album “Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart”. Friends close to the artist said that there was palpable friction between the singer and his truck during the tour ever since rumors circulated that one of the tracks from his album, “How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away?” was a sharp dig at his mode of transport.

Walkerman is no stranger to gossip, as whispers of infidelity have dogged the singer for the last few years. Crew members admitted that while he did hold his truck in the highest regard, he was known to have a wandering eye, especially for Chevy’s or Dodge RAM’s.

Unconfirmed sources say that Walkerman was caught test driving another pickup backstage after a recent show and an argument ensued. Witnesses say they could hear shouting and honking throughout the night, and the pair became uncommunicative over the following days.

The Dustbin’s manager released a statement saying that the two had reached a tentative agreement. According to the terms, Walkerman would check himself into rehab if the truck finished the tour, but the morning after the press release, the truck was gone.

Crew members with the tour have reported miscellaneous pieces of essential gear missing, such as sound equipment and guitars that hold sentimental value to the singer, and speculate that they may have been left in the truck’s king cab. They are currently searching local pawn shops for their whereabouts.

The Singing Dustbin is most widely known for hit songs such as “I’ve Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart”, “Mama Get The Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)”, “I’ve Got The Hungries For Your Love And I’m Waiting In Your Welfare Line”, and “I’ll Marry You Tomorrow But Let’s Honeymoon Tonite”.

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