The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Study: Real Housewives Are 60 Percent Fake

Real Housewives Are 60% Fake

NEW YORK, NY – Even though they walk, talk, and resemble people, recent studies have shown that most cast members for the Real Housewives reality show are only 40 percent human.

Researchers conducted the study to shine light on the genetic makeup of patients with massive amounts of internal cosmetic chemicals. The study, conducted over several seasons, revealed an abnormally high amount of filler and implants holding cast members together.

Although 60 percent was the average filler to human ratio, some cast members had gone as high as 80 percent. One housewife stunned researchers when it was discovered that her body was devoid of any blood. After testing, they discovered that her entire circulatory system was able to operate purely on Botox. Her brain, eyes and tongue were the only areas found to be completely natural.

Researchers are taking time to study their findings before mixing various known cosmetic chemicals together to see which ones will spontaneously combust if they leak.

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