The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Trump Declares Brain Sanctuary City

Trump Declares Brain Sanctuary City

WASHINGTON, DC – In an unprecedented move, President Trump declared his brain to be relegated to Sanctuary City status.

With more information being revealed about the size and scope of the Mueller investigation, legal counsel for the President have been busy researching ways to protect Trump from direct questioning. Lawyers for the administration revealed that Trump himself came up with the idea during an all-night brainstorming session fueled by KFC and diet Coke.

Even though the definition of Sanctuary Cities is a grey area in the legal world, Trump believes that designating his brain in such a way would prohibit authorities from questioning him as well as limit their ability to detain the President for any reason.

Democrats have not publicly commented on the matter yet. Insiders believe they are keeping quiet about it in the hopes that family members might be empowered to report internal crimes without the fear of deportation. Some are hoping that Trump’s brain might eventually self deport.

Currently there has been no word from Department of Justice head, Jeff Sessions, about the President’s new status and how the DOJ will react. He is expected to give a press conference on the matter from the lowest branch of the Keebler Elf tree tomorrow.

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