The National Quandary

The National Quandary

UMBC Head Coach Has Two Wishes Left

UMBC celebrates after beating No. 1 Virginia Cavaliers

CHARLOTTE, NC – No. 16 ranked University of Maryland-Baltimore County made history, beating No. 1 ranked Virginia Cavaliers last night. In a press conference after the game, UMBC Head Coach Ryan Odom leaked the secret to their success.

“It was the strangest thing. I was shopping around in an antique store a couple of days ago and found this dusty old lamp. I usually do something manual to take my mind off big games, so I decided to bring it home and shine it. As I was shining, this big blue guy sprouted out of it and offered me three wishes for freeing him.”

Odom, who professed his disbelief in the cloud like figure, didn’t think about trying anything until after the first half, when the teams were tied at 21. Before they took the court to start the second half, Odom whispered his desire to win. The UMBC Retrievers then outscored Virginia 53-33 to win the game.

Now faced with only two wishes left and four victories to win the NCAA Championship, Odom says he must be strategic. He’s also tussling with the struggle of whether he should use his wishes for basketball related dreams, or just wish for a million bajillion dollars and call it good.

We will find out the answer on March 18th, when they take on No. 9 Kansas St. on Sunday. Shortly after leaving the press conference, reporters could hear the song “Friend Like Me” emanating from the UMBC dressing room.

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