The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Yellowstone Reopens Tide Pools

Tide Pool in Yellowstone National Park

YELLOWSTONE, WY – A popular attraction in Yellowstone National Park has been reopened following attacks from glory seeking teenagers with intentions of consuming it.

Inspired by a viral sensation, the Tide Pod Challenge was embraced by teenagers who filmed themselves eating the colorful detergent pods and posting the results. It wasn’t long before one of Yellowstone’s most popular pools was caught in the fray.

“We were literally invaded,” said Dillon Gransby, a park ranger. “Waves of kids swept in one afternoon and began filming each other attempting to consume the pool. A few of them began spewing acid bubbles all over the place. Two of them spontaneously combusted. They just kept on filming. What the hell is wrong with these kids?”

When verbal warnings didn’t work, Gransby told TNQ that a perimeter fence was erected to keep teenagers out for the last few weeks. “These challenges don’t last too long, “said Gransby. “Before you know it, they’ll be moving onto something else.

The park has stated that the pool is now open and ready to accept visitors again, feeling confident that interest in the challenge has subsided.

Just after his interview, Gransby was interrupted by park medical personal and asked to join additional staff to give his opinion on how to treat a visitor suffering from the latest viral challenge, Buffalo hoof snorting.

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